via (me)

A week back at work after a reasonably long vacation is never easy, but I'm nearly through it. I can't wait for what I hope will be a relaxing weekend. I've got a good book and I'm planning on spending some time with it on the above-pictured couch.

Yesterday was a bit bittersweet.

The sweet part of the day was that in this down economy, I was fortunate enough not only to receive a raise, but also a bonus. Financial security is a powerful thing and I am thanking my lucky stars.

The bitter part of the day was realizing that instead of paying down student loans, renovating our kitchen, or taking that trip to New Zealand, we will probably need to use all of our thus-far saved pennies to *buy* our family. My insurance doesn't cover any fertility treatments, so whether we decide to adopt or opt for medical intervention we are facing some steep costs.

The frustrations seem to be coming from all angles these days. Get me to that couch . . .


a perfect afternoon

via (me)

When we returned from the beach, we were not ready to reembrace reality. So, we ignored the piles of laundry and list of errands waiting for us at home and instead continued our vacation. If having ice cream twice in one afternoon is the measure of anything, it was indeed a good day!


painful reminder

via (daytrips)

why, when my heart is already hurting so much, does there have to be such a pain in my belly to to remind me further?


salt air

via (me)

We just got back from a vacation in North Carolina. It was such a luxury to wake up each morning to the ocean and the sun. I think that I'm meant to live near the water, but somehow I've managed to wind up miles from the shore.

Together with my father, older brother, his wife and their baby, we strung together a week of perfectly contented leisure. I only wish that it could have continued for a bit longer.

I promised myself that I would not take any pregnancy tests while I was away. I can still vividly remember last year - We were all together at the same place, though my older brother was absent (baby too young) and my younger brother and wife were present (absent this year because expecting first baby in August). It was our second month of trying and for three of the mornings, I snuck into the bathroom with a pregnancy test, so damn hopeful that the there'd be a second line. Of course there wasn't and there hasn't been.

This year, I waited until we got back to Washington.


Right about now, I am wishing that I was back on the front porch of our rental house, sitting in a rocking chair, taking in the breeze, looking out over the ocean, and hoping.


a perfect pause

(via Neil Krug)

This weekend was just what I needed.

A new haircut, good times with friends, camping in a backyard, the most delicious garden-grown tomato salad.

I think though that my most favorite bit was realizing that a hotel pool in our neighborhood offers day passes. My husband and I spent Sunday lounging and swimming and reading.

It was the perfect pause and the kind of day that just is summer.


the after

via (me)

I quite like it.

especially after a dip in the pool.



three years


Three years already. Yet, it seems like we were just standing under that big old tree, newest of newlyweds and so very happy.

So far, being together has not been without its bumps and bungles, but those moments are thankfully few and insignificant.

Our life is pretty lucky.

On our first anniversary, mostly by happenstance, we went out to a lovely little restaurant that had a charming patio. The night was warm, the food was delicious, the company was perfect. After finishing our meal we were in agreement that the night must not end just yet, so we strolled down the street and stopped into the neighborhood bar. Towards the back of the room I spied a photo booth. When I saw it, I knew. Every anniversary we'd take a photo booth picture. Marking the years. A tradition was born. We jumped into the booth. Twice.

Such a great night.

The following year, we set about recreating that evening. We went back to the lovely little restaurant, but when we got there we were told that the kitchen was closed for renovations. I was slightly devastated and if you had sampled their food, you might have been too. But, I also knew that it wasn't the food that was so sentimental to me, but rather keeping the tradition of the photo booth. So, we walked down the block. The bar was open. good. We went inside. The photo booth was still there. thank goodness. We pulled back the curtain, only to see piles and piles of napkins. and a sign. Out of Order. At that point my heart sank. I don't think that one year makes a tradition a tradition. As that was the only booth in DC, we were at a loss. We walked and walked. Finally, thinking that melted cheese might be a delicious distraction, we went into a mexican restaurant. As it turned out, it was not a very good mexican restaurant. In fact, it was a very bad mexican restaurant. But, it was so bad that, at this point, we found finally were able found the humor in the situation.

I'm not sure what is in store for us this evening, but I hope that we can keep on keeping our sense of humor about things and maybe find a new family tradition along the way.


not yet

(via Loveology)

My husband is not a father and I am not a mother.


but we do have each other.

and I am very glad for that.