Despite being meet with: "lots of good news to share, lots of good news"
What we actually heard - mind you without a lot of bedside manner - was that:
(1) Medical science has no idea why we don't have a baby
(2) Despite that lack of knowledge, interventions are our only hope
hmmmm. not exactly what we were hoping for.
I was truly expecting that there would be some type of secondary round of *diagnostics.* More sophisticated tests, specifically designed to eliminate all of this *unexplainedness.*
Apparently, that is not the case.
We simply fall into a category and then the blunt objects that are fertility inteventions are waived in our face.
her: "I would recommend clomid and iui"
me: (referring to the clomid) "I thought I didn't have a problem ovulating"
her: "Well everything seems to be pointing to the fact that you don't, but this is basically our frontline intervention"
me: (apparently not effectively explaining that while I'm not necessarily against interventions per se, I would like to understand that they are actually serving a purpose and not simply being prescribed because that is what's done for everyone. I'm not everyone dammit.) "It kind of seems like 'trying to force a square peg into a round hole' approach." (also, apparently confusing my analogies)
unexplained infertility is frustrating.
having an apathetic doctor who claims to be empathetic is frustrating.
I think a little bit of time to mull all of this over will help. But right about now, I'm back to where I was when I began this blog - fighting back the tears as I sit in my office (and contemplating running away to live a simplier life in the Caribbean)