via (danske)

I was so nervous sitting on the table right before our second ultrasound.

my heart was racing, my stomach in knots (but, also oddly feeling like it was floating), adrenaline coursing.

then the words I have been longing to hear


we have a perfect little, tiny baby.

with a perfect little, tiny heartbeat ticking away at 134 beats/minute.

a heartbeat!

and no clot.

no clot!

there were numerous congratulations and handing off of paperwork as I now am a "normal" patient.

normal patients graduate to normal obgyns.




I apologize for the abrupt hiatus.

We spent the end of last week moving and our computer got boxed up a bit earlier than expected so I could not provide an update.

Before, I continue, I am still very much pregnant and for that I am most thankful. However, the ultrasound was not the magical moment I had hoped it would be. First, it was rushed. So rushed. And they didn't turn the screen all the way, so I could hardly get a look. And the nurse? said there's a pocket of fluid without providing much information. Then the RE was all concerned about the date of my last period (completely arbitrary date). I couldn't exactly remember, but I told them the date I ovulated (not an arbitrary date). She could have cared less. Bah. It was a mess.

We left the appointment with a photo of our fetal pole and a feeling of uneasiness. I got back to my office and started to google the bits of what I understood the fluid to be - a subchorionic hemorrhage. google was not reassuring. basically it is a blood clot that can either get reabsorbed by my body or cause a lot of havoc. lovely. it is also the likely culprit behind my early spotting.

After thoroughly frightening myself, I called the Dr.'s office looking for some answers. Mainly, what exactly is my little fluid abnormality called? How large is it? Should I be concerned? Anything that I should/should not be doing?

My google diagnosis was correct, it is a subchorionic hemorrhage. We are in and I quote "grey zone" and get to go back weekly for more ultrasounds in order to track the clot.
I've been having talks with my belly. Willing the clot to be absorbed and the poppy seed (now roughly a blueberry) to stick around.

Our next ultrasound is Thursday. Hope to hear some less "grey" news.