long time, no post

It's been a while since I've been back here. I suppose that sometime during pregnancy my need to vent/share/release faded and so did my posting. I kept wanting to update this space, but was never able to figure out what to share.

But, rest assured, we are a happy little family of three

(or five with pups)

Maybe I'm finding myself back here tonight because, aside from the fact that we are still trying to find a babysitter, I am just shy of returning to work. It's making me all sorts of out of sorts.

I kind of suspected that I wouldn't exactly be thrilled to return. I actually do like my job and it will be nice to get up, wear some proper clothes, talk to adults and little N is going to be in a fantastic place, BUT, I am just not ready.


I have also been wrestling with part-time vs. full-time. I was nearly set on returning four days a week, but then I see my co-worker who is at the office (or on some conference call from home/playground/soccer game) nearly every Friday, certainly billing FT hours, but being compensated at a PT salary.

Double Bah.

I've gone back and forth and back and forth and decided to return full-time.

Bah. Bah. Bah.

I did, however, sign up for a adult ed. class to learn photoshop.

It's nice to be back!


  1. I am so happy to see these pictures of your beautiful little girl! she is just edible. I found your blog a long time ago, and read through all the old posts...such a incredible journey with a perfect ending. Congratulations to you and your family!!!
    I am sure you are very conflicted about returning to work and not being with your daughter constantly. My daughter is now 18 months old. When I had her I was back to work when she was FOUR DAYS OLD. I actually brought her to work with me, and raised her in my office, while I attempted to run a program. Don't ask me how this worked. It took such a toll on everyone. We both struggled through this until she was nine months old. I cannot tell you that I felt the very same way you do...but, you do what you have to do to, and you will adjust, just as she will. Make sure you take care of yourself, too. SO important!
    Also, I have no idea about what you do for work, but nice move on opting to go back FT - you are so right, you will end up working FT hours for PT salary and benefits.
    Anyways, thank you for the smile today. I was really hoping you were off enjoying sweet smiles and kodak moments (just as you were). :)
    good luck with everything!!

  2. So good to hear from you and see how your beautiful bundle has grown. Must have been so hard not to post 100 shots. You look so happy. Going back to work will be (cliche time) a huge adjustment for sure. But before long it will feel normal, you will both find a new rhythm, and your happy lives will resume. Or, you can always just chuck it all! Good luck getting through it.

  3. as far as i know now, there is no such thing as part-time. i find that i'm more exhausted on the days when i'm watching leon for the full time rather than teaching and writing. i also have more patience and love to give when i've had some time away from him (fancy that!).

    beautiful photos as always, and N is so beautiful. her eyes are so bright and round, you can see her taking it all in.

  4. So good to hear from you Jones! I'm so glad you've had this time with N and are enjoying motherhood. Your pictures are gorgeous and N is a doll!

    I'm sure the going back to work decisions are difficult and stressful. I have definitely heard from friends that working part-time usually means exactly what you said - part-time pay and full-time work. I'm sure N will be in great hands.

    Thanks for checking in :)

  5. she is beauuuuuuuuutiful.

    i am on the cusp of joining a photoshop class as well- hope yours is awesome though your pictures are great, it doesn't look like you even need it!

  6. first, that baby is simply edible.

    second, every mom, stay at home, "pt", "ft" or whatever, feels conflicted. just know that and don't be too hard on yourself or the situation.

    third, i want to sign up for the photoshop class too! it's in san diego, right ;-)