Fear of the Unknown

I don't want to give up hope, but I also don't want to keep on waiting for something that may never happen.

It's funny how you worry about something even though you have absolutely no reason to be concerned. And then it turns out that your fears weren't so irrational after all.

While it is true that I don't like being told I'm wrong - this would have been a fabulous
exception.

I guess I am getting ahead of myself. As I've not actually been "tested."

I've been too afraid, too much don't really want to know the answer, too much don't really want to hear that there might not be an answer, too much of won't this just all go away, too much of I don't want to feel like a failure, too much of why can't I just snuggle my little baby and
sing gone fishin'.

Emotionally, I've reached some point where I'm struggling much more. I think previously, it was easy to shrug off with denial.

Now there are more tears.